Day 1 – Day 3
I started self-isolation from 21 Jan, two days before the lockdown in Wuhan. I was aware of the outbreak of an unknown epidemic, so I wore a mask everywhere I went on 19 and 20 Jan. I took public transport multiple times and went to a driver’s test which involved waiting in a crowded room for two hours. After that, I tried to recreate my entire travel history in my mental map and started panicking. For several days, I checked my body temperature every several hours—this self-induced panic caused hallucinatory effects and actual physiological impacts on my body. My body temperature was around 37.2 the whole time during the first week and I was having an unfailing diarrhoea every day for two weeks. The symptoms of whatever it was, or intense anxiety ended a few days later, when I started counting and tweeting daily under threads.
Day 3 (First Day of the City Lockdown)
I am in tears.
[Listening to SMZB’s “the Chinese are coming”]
Quote: “Visit Wuhan, the newest cultural epicentre of China” (@visit_wuhan official twitter page’s profile introduction)
Living in the epicentre, browsing twitter, seeing a lot of panic online, trying to maintain inner peace. The mental turmoil is getting me…Life is stagnant, yet everything happens so fast “online” – being online and real-time updates is, for the first time, traumatising.
Shanghai is too big to be quarantined tbh. But other cities like Guangzhou and Shenzhen yes. This quarantine is probably going to last until March.
For the people who have not yet contracted the virus and stayed quarantine at home. The anxiety and boredom are gonna drive many insane.
We need psychologists. The healthy ones are getting restless and unhinged as an anxiety overwhelms them.
Don’t be Flora. (Flora is an American expat living in Wuhan who went full on panic mode when the news of lockdown first struck).
Quote: “Wu-tang Clan – Wu-han Clan”
It’s true that last night a lot of local residents, driven by fear, anxiety, and boredom, organized to yell words of encouragement from their windows. They know its grim, but they decide to persevere and build solidarity.
Quote: I have a disease. It’s called being human and I have to get treatment. (@dril_gpt2)
If you have friends or family or you are in any major Chinese cities, do not go to hospital unless it is absolutely necessary. It is highly likely you will get infected in the disorder at the hospitals. It is not worth it, especially if you just have a common cold.
I don’t drink at home. There are some supposedly good Moutai, but I don’t drink that filth.
Sick Man of Wuhan: Pathologised Nihilism and Politics of Hope.
The logic of certain betterment, sacrificing for the greater good, and delayed redress of previous unjust punishment of those who spoke openly about the plague, just furthers the mental suffering of who those are involuntarily immobilised by angst, anxiety, and boredom.
The so-called Wuhan nihilism should be de-pathologised as a necessary and even healthy response to the Political hope.
It is exactly in these times of unprecedented epidemic, a misanthrope learns hope, not the Political hope of vanity, but the previously dislocated radical nihilism – “values without a world”.
Let us jog, let us swim, let us walk on the empty streets, let fly the drones, let us scream for Life from our windows, let us cry over phone calls, let us realise the burst bubbles of owning a home, let us discard the neurosis of plastic hope.
At a time of extreme emergency, people, no matter how cosmopolitan they claim to be, will be xenophobic. It’s only natural. New racism can be built in a week…We are just the unfortunate ones to witness how this is forged in real time.
Day 11 has already sapped by more conspiracy theories, accelerationist viropexis, internet folklores, inconsistent propaganda of hope, and above all medical disorder. Twitter is just cancerous as WeChat.
Time for bed.
The only work I have done today is the above tweet.
One angle that almost media reports are missing is that the locals who are embroiled in this plague do not necessarily want to debate the “truth” – by default there are lies; that’s common sense. Plebs want psychological comfort and hope – plastic or not.
It’s already Feb. I dreamt of walking on the beach yesterday with my non-existent daughter.
The more plastic Hope you inject into the veins of the ignorant plebs the angrier they will be when their immune systems collapse.
The hot pot is about to boil.
I think I am about to reach half of my limit.
But today I have gathered enough mental strength to start reading and writing again.
don’t praise the plebs. don’t tell the plebs what to do. don’t tell the plebs what to feel. don’t write shitty poetry in praise of whatever. stop intellectualising pain.
did somebody just propose global warming against coronavirus? wtf…
Pssst! Slavoj, wanna switch place with me?
Quote: “Some of us, including myself, would secretly love to be in China’s Wuhan right now, experiencing a real-life, post-apocalyptic movie set. The city’s empty streets provide the image of a non-consumerist world at ease with itself.” (https://www.rt.com/op-ed/479970-coronavirus-china-wuhan-hysteria-racist)
Quote: “After clashes and arrests in Tin Shui Wai on Tuesday night, a Mandarin-speaking woman went down to berate the police: “Let me tell you, I’m also from Wuhan!” Journalists and police surrounding her all jump back. She later clarified she moved to Hong Kong over a decade ago. (https://twitter.com/elson_tong/status/1224738665684852736/video/1)
I think desperation is gonna kick in at some point.
Wuhan patient reading Francis Fukuyama on a hospital bed.
In 2011 I stayed inside for more than a month (went outside once or twice to stock up food) to play Skyrim all day. I survived on mostly instant noodles and soft drinks. It was good times and I didn’t regret it…Now I am locked inside with thousands of games to play and hundreds of books to read. I can’t do shit…I just couldn’t allow myself to whine on Twitter.
[Dr Li Wen-Liang died]
This day begins early. Let the rage overwhelm the wall.
Quote: We’re all prepared to acknowledge that even if you’re not a poet, self-exposure makes money in the age of the confessional personal essay…As a group, however, we’re not completely settled on whether trauma writing is useful – for the reader or the writer.(https://sydneyreviewofbooks.com/lifting)
Trying to enjoy a rare find anime after a day of stress…instant regret.
Kōji Morimoto, Memories, 1995.
Bad news just kept coming.
When you infantize the masses for so long they actually become infantile.
things I crave: coffee (specifically the exwife blend), chips (specifically vinegar chips), French toast (with massive amount of honey), cheese (specifically feta) on salad, wedges with a pint of whatever cheap beer (specifically Boags), and above all sitting alone in a pub.
25 days ago, I was observant of how the nearby hospital was unusually crowded when I went to the coffee place nearby.
20 days ago, some sick dimwit spat towards me on the train. I dodged it and did wear a surgical mask. Just to make sure and also to avoid more instances like this, I began my self-isolation the next day.
19 days ago, I alerted my mum about the potential of an outbreak. I told her not to go outside except for grocery and do not go to the wet market. She insisted going outside for a stroll. I could not stop her.
18 days ago, I warned a friend that the situation was already out of control and maybe other cities could be fucked as well. She called me a coward. I had a mental meltdown when I saw a video (circulated only among local medical workers at the time) of a senior doctor freaked out in front of a patient and allegedly the director of the hospital bailed.
It’s certainly not premonition but it is at least the basic sensitivity that something is very wrong and its heading towards something much worse. But when more information become public and everyone start to freak out, I have come to terms with it.
It’s funny that it has been 21 days and I still don’t have a routine yet.
Quote: There’s a guy on my timeline who tweets every day about how he hasn’t left his apartment. He’s up to 21 days now. I am secretly (or not so secretly) insanely jealous of his life. (@zzap)
That cruise is totally gonna declare independence isn’t it.
I hope you guys don’t get used to this count. I am almost at my limit.
How do you fight virus with Eva units…but what’s the hidden message here?
So, we are all gonna become puddles of LCL.
Quote: (Image of the official Weibo of EVA Franchise applauding and supporting the containment efforts of Wuhan)
Actually, the best valentine’s day of my life. no plans whatsoever.
Waking up at 8pm isn’t right.
Time is irrelevant.
Temporality is probably infected and quarantined as well. Maybe even dead.
It was snowing hard yesterday and today it feels like 15 degree…it’s nice to hear birds singing though. A rare sight of good weather and traces of animals, even from the confine of my window.
Going to celebrate with my last can of diet coke.
I managed to open a bottle with a key. So yeah, I am getting drunk tonight.
This is starting to feel like the LIGHTHOUSE.
This will probably last another 30 days…
I think I am at my limit. Now I have to repeat another 29 days.
It’s just halfway through.
Never go outside
Turn on my computer
My cyber lover
Just eating fast noodles
All my life
Download from internet”
(New Pants, Internet Sex Drugs)
It’s actually ok. I can live without sex, drugs but not internet.
The really exasperating thing is that there is nothing worth remembering in this hollowing experience, but I remember the stupid details of waking up reading on the bed falling asleep again day drinking on the bed falling asleep again.
Given all the time but all dead time – productivity is true happiness.
there is nothing wrong with the virus, it is everything else that is the problem.
Essential items to fight the virus according to taobao
Quote: Taobao recommends four items to fight the coronavirus:
84 disinfectant, plastic gloves, dildo, plug adaptor.
The virus has become banal.
Me at home.
Quote: A pigeon restlessly walking in the snow leaving a convoluted trail of footprints.
the medical supply situation is very weird. So, my alcohol wipes are from japan. face masks from Taiwan. They all appear to be donations but I (and my friend) paid for them…so yeah.
eventful birthday. didn’t even leave my room. watched Witcher and had instant noodles.
in the jdrama デート 〜恋とはどんなものかしら〜
the male protagonist didn’t leave his mum’s house for years, watching movies and reading books everyday. Enmeshed in literature and arthouse films, he calls himself an “exalted flaneur”. if anything, I am apprenticing based flaneurism.
I can’t take it anymore.
A video of a black person screaming in Cantonese: “屌呢個閪”.
So, quite a few boomer philosophers are convinced that this virus is no more threatening than the common flu and that the fascist state is more of a threat in advancing their agendas in inciting fear and panic.
Quote: “Agamben doesn’t seem to understand the difference between a camp and a bunker.” (Benjamin Bratton)
The plague is not a remedy nor an ingredient of the remedy to a sick society as it only exposes deep-rooted issues. The initial exposé leads to outrage, which is quickly soaked and dissipated by idleness, boredom, and lethargy. The latest wish is simple: return to the Normal.
By probability, which is a calculation of infected demographics and death count, the virus seems to have a criterion; but for an infected patient, the criteria do not exist, and death is an imminent truth.
I would really appreciate an iced latte right now.
the basics of mask ideology:
-Europeans wear a mask to protect others from being infected by them. By its logic, only the sick wear masks.
-Chinese wear a mask to protect themselves from being infected by others. By its logic, everyone is supposed to wear masks.
I have been doing that for years, but I would love to have a solitary walk in the park or a botanic garden or sth.
“coronavirus is shaping up to be not so bad for introverts:
– work from home
– avoid public places, social gatherings
– if you have to go out, stay 6 feet away from strangers”
I want to work in a café.
Time has been simply suspended, not cyclical nor linear and certainly not spiral. Endless quarantine. Is a “pathetic waiting” possible? if anything, there is no more normal to return to.
Quote: “In the never-ending everyday, the apocalypse does not open any new horizon of experience. It has become entirely immanent to the social collectivity and actually means the impossibility of a social project of any kind, because it has no exterior.” (Thouny, C. (2009). Waiting for the Messiah: The Becoming-Myth of Evangelion and Densha otoko. Mechademia, 4(1), 111–129. )
my only hope is that this count does not go to 100. well if this does, I hope somebody publish these daily threads.
I bought 2 kilos of beans before i left Melbourne for my mum, but her coffee machine broke three days into the lockdown…I haven’t tasted a sip of coffee for 40 days.
I sniff coffee beans like cocaine…
What I crave the most is not sociality but space – to be able to eat alone in a restaurant, browse a bookstore alone, drink in a pub alone, read in a cafe alone, watch a movie in my beanbag alone. I mostly talk to people online anyway.
I have a porn folder called flat ontology.
I fucked up my switch and scoured Taobao trying to buy a controller and a replacement fan…no one ships to this hell hole apparently.
Only “essentials” are shipped to the city – we are probably running out of alcohol, cigs, maybe even soft drinks, barely any chips…VeRy expensive grocery shopping. This is probably just a taste of the forthcoming inflation. Right, still gonna enjoy the last stick.
The “fight” against the coronavirus is not a “war”, but a suspension of the alteration between war and the “normal life”. We are mobilised to be immobilised to fight the unfathomable agents of structural change: both genetical and socioeconomical.
We are stuck in the waiting room.
Quote: “Agamben was wrong: not the concentration camp but the waiting room is the topoi of modernity” (@iycrtyph)
Ok I managed to buy a Shanzhai pro switch controller with a few bottles of hand sanitisers so it can be shipped.
“when the town is bustling with economic activity, time can only be represented as habit, which, like ritual, is a way of mastering history and diminishing the temporal change…The Oranais better notice stasis than they do the action surrounding trade…but the very phenomenon of notice is compelling evidence of temporal consciousness.” (Albert Camus, The Plague)
The only thing some Chinese plants are manufacturing is false data, a @Caixin investigation has found.
““Query: how contrive not to waste one’s time? Answer: by being fully aware of it all the time. Ways in which this can be done: by spending one’s days on an uneasy chair in the dentist’s waiting room…”
By idling 46 days away waiting for an endless lockdown.
So this is weird. The switch controller arrived rather quickly but apparently; they can’t ship hand sanitisers. Wtf is wrong with priority though?
There was a meme of the same template about people in Wuhan a few days before the lockdown.
Quote: a Chinese meme about how people in Los Angeles don’t give a shit about the pandemic and go on about with their regular lives.
Bunch of people got infected by someone who returned from the hospital and supposed to have recovered – these people didn’t go outside for more than month and all they did was collecting grocery at the gate. This shit comes back folks. It lurks, probably as long as you live.
If waiting is submission, I am not sure I am submitting to the virus or the state or my fear or really nothing.
Let’s just start the day 49 thread early. Maybe I should do sth to celebrate 50 days of not going outside. Suggestions?
Hot fuck noodle welcome pasta to the party.
I don’t care if the official number is fabricated or not. It goes down to zero, so everyone pretends everything is back to normal until it isn’t. My guess is the majority of my coffee spots and bookshops has already gone out of business.
Coronachan hates Mulan.
Italy is officially Wuhanized.
Believe in future and demolish it.
This will be my end of quarantine gift.
Quote: a shirt with Foucault’s Discipline and Punish Print.
so…apparently coronavirus can cause male infertility. coronachan may be the champion of the dispossessed vocels.
I will probably be outside for the first time after exactly 69 days of home quarantine.
kinda fucked up to see all the jokes i saw over a month ago circulating on twitter, of course, unrelated and in another context, but coronavirus seems to have united our sense of humour.
Once this shit is over, I will probably go to the mountains and continue to quarantine myself there.
Quote: People who have been following the Wuhan outbreak from day 0 are basically time travelers at this point, spoiling what people will experience in the next few weeks. (@diaodiao_yang)
If this is time travel this is perhaps the worst kind. Instead of trying to save the “world” after failing to quell the spread initially by restarting, you basically time travel to experience the fucking collapse all over again.
Quote: regardless of if you think Asian others live in the colonial/exotic past or in an alternative/authoritarian/sci-fi future, you’re assuming it’s a world that exists outside of the Western present, which viruses clearly disprove. (@notsaved).